Of kidnapping, catwalks and too many cigarettes
Hi there, this is Owen and this is my podcast for Friday 30th January, 2015. We are approaching another New Year here – Chinese New Year. Spring Festival, as it is also called, is the most important holiday in China. People are starting to put up the first decorations, which are lots and lots of red lanterns. In the past, I've spent the holiday in China. This year, though, I won't. This year I'm going to Ecuador for a holiday with my girlfriend. She has family in Ecuador and her family is celebrating a big family reunion on the Galapagos Islands. So while the Chinese will be letting off fireworks, I'll be soaking up [1] the sun in South America. I'll tell you all about it in a future episode. Today's topic, though, is a Chinese wedding I attended recently.
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A couple of weeks ago I was having dinner with my Chinese friend Leo at a Sichuan restaurant. Leo's friend John and his fiancée [2] were also having dinner there and so they joined us. It turned out that John and his bride-to-be were going to get married the next week. We talked a little about weddings and different wedding traditions and I mentioned that I'd never been to a Chinese wedding. Of course I was hoping that they might invite me to their wedding and they actually did! I was very pleased and I asked them: “So when is the wedding?” They answered: “Next Monday.” I was a little surprised. Who gets married on a Monday? It turned out, though, that that particular Monday was a lucky day on the Lunar Calendar. The couple were very nice and wanted to give me the whole experience of a Chinese wedding. This meant that I was invited to join them for the whole day. So on that Monday Leo and I set off early in the morning to the south of Kunming where the wedding was taking place. Both the bride and the groom [3] are from Hunan, which is a province east of here, but they have lived in Kunming for a long time. Most of their families and friends on the other hand had arrived from Hunan and were all staying in a big hotel. In the lobby of the hotel all the groom's friends had gathered [4] for the traditional ‘kidnapping' of the bride. They kept telling me: “Now we will kidnap the bride.” But what we actually did was more like buy the bride. Money plays a big part in Chinese weddings. Cigarettes as well but more on that later. All of the men were given about 20 hongbao, which are special red envelopes with money inside. The bride and her family, luckily, were staying in the same hotel, so we didn't have to go very far. When we got to the bride's room we knocked on the door. When the door opened all the bridesmaids [5] stood in the doorway blocking the entrance. Before they let us into the room, we had to answer lots of questions about the bride and the couple. When and where they met, for example, or her date of birth. Of course I had no clue what was going on. Throughout this whole questioning we were also bribing [6] them with our red envelopes. Eventually they let us into the room. The bride was wearing a traditional red Chinese wedding dress including a head piece. At this point the groom had to carry the bride downstairs. In the past, apparently, there would have been a special chair to transport the bride. On this occasion there was a fleet [7] of very fancy cars waiting for her. We all got into the cars and made our way to the groom's house. At the groom's house we sat around drinking tea before we all went for a big lunch together.
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The actual ceremony took place in the evening. About 400 people were invited. I was the only foreigner and I was the only guest dressed in a suit. As the guests arrived, they had to sign a book with their best wishes for the couple. Then they all put the hongbao in a big box. People don't give gifts at weddings in China these days. People give money. Inside the room where the ceremony took place there was a big stage with a catwalk. On each side of the catwalk were the tables where all the guests were seated. Once everyone was seated the show began. It started with a short clip about the couple projected onto a big screen on the stage accompanied by loud pop music and lights. Then the bride, now dressed in white with her father beside her, walked the length of the catwalk to where her future husband was waiting. The groom was given a microphone to say his vows [8]. Then the ring bearers [9] arrived, the rings were exchanged and the couple walked back down the catwalk together and on to the stage with the wedding march blasting [10]. Throughout the whole ceremony there was man with a microphone commentating everything that was happening. On the stage the couple were joined by their parents and gifts were exchanged. It was all more of a show with many elements taken from other types of weddings, such as her dress and the music. What was also striking was that the groom's parents took a very central role in the whole show, especially the groom's father. After the couple had left the stage, he stayed to give a speech. I also had the impression that many of the guests were either friends or business partners of the groom's father. To me it seemed to be a big occasion where size mattered most. The number of guests, the stage, the show, the food. It all had to be big.
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The one thing I was left with after the wedding was a very sore throat. I don't think I have ever smoked so many cigarettes in a day. All day long, starting first thing in the morning, people were offering each other cigarettes. And you could not refuse, because the cigarettes they offered were supposed to bring good fortune. It would have been very impolite to refuse. How cigarettes can bring good fortune is still a mystery to me. During both lunch and dinner there were lots of packs of cigarettes on the tables. And after signing the book with your good wishes for the couple at the reception, you were given a pack of cigarettes in return. By the end of the day I had a cigarette behind each ear, one in each hand and my pockets were stuffed with good fortune. That everything was about quantity reminded me of a story a friend once told me about his wedding. He's French and his wife is Chinese. For their wedding in China, his parents flew over from France. And with them they brought a couple of nice bottles of champagne. The wedding wasn't a very big occasion, mainly the bride's family. Her hometown is in the countryside in the south of China. After the ceremony his parents opened the bottles of champagne and carefully poured [11] a little champagne for everyone. But before they could raise their glasses one of the bride's Chinese uncles looked at the glasses and must have thought to himself, that's not enough, because he grabbed a bottle of Chinese beer and topped up all the glasses with beer. As you can imagine, the French were horrified.
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After my second podcast, Marielle asked how they clean the sky in Beijing. Well, one of the ways is to reduce the number of cars on the streets. They do this by only allowing cars with number plates ending with certain numbers to drive on certain days. So for example only cars with number plates ending with the numbers 1, 3 and 8 are allowed to drive on Mondays and Wednesdays. The other thing they do is to temporarily close factories in and around Beijing. Hebei is the province which surrounds [12] Beijing. And the largest industries in Hebei are steel and iron manufacturing. So, when necessary, they shut down all manufacturing for a few days. Lastly, they pray for some wind to blow all the pollution away. Although I won't be in China to celebrate the Chinese New Year, I'm very fortunate because a Chinese friend of mine has invited me to his home in the coming days before I leave for the Galapagos Islands. His hometown is in the south-east of Yunnan, very close to the Vietnamese border. And I'm fortunate because his family and friends will hold a Spring Festival celebration for me a few weeks before the actual Chinese New Year. His hometown is in the countryside so I'm hoping to experience a traditional Chinese New Year. That's what I'll be talking about next time on 27th February. I hope you will have a listen. You can use the Podclub app to do so or go to our website www.podclub.ch. Until then, have a wonderful month. Bye!
Glossaire: Owen in China [1] soaking up: here: spending time enjoying something
[2] fiancée: the woman you are engaged to get married to
[3] bride and groom: woman and man getting married
[4] gathered: came together
[5] bridesmaids: young women who support the bride before and during the wedding
[6] bribing: giving money to someone to do something they shouldn't
[7] fleet: a group of vehicles
[8] vows: promises made to each other at a wedding
[9] ring bearer: person at a wedding who carries the rings before they are exchanged
[10] blasting: playing very loudly
[11] poured: filled glasses with